How Long Can You Hold Your Breath?
by P.J. Lowry
Summary: Superman wants the Joker to tell him where Batman is...


He sat there in the chair, surrounded by three walls and a mirror that only looked one way. He was used to the routine. The cops always left him sitting there for a least a few hours. Bore the funny man, Joker thought to himself, how original. Sitting there, looking at the mirror was about all Joker could to do amuse himself, making faces to the people looking at him from behind the glass gave him minimal satisfaction. Letting the coppers know that he was in control, and that they were going to have do a lot more if they wanted him to spill his guts. Finally after a little while, a cop walked into the room. He was wearing a suit when the Joker first saw him in the station, but now his jacket was gone, sleeves were rolled up but that ugly tie was still there. "Great weather out there today, right detective?"

The officer didn't seem in the mood for small talk. "I'm not interested in the weather, funny man. What we want to know is what you did with the Batman."

"Batsy? Is he missing?"

"You know he is, Joker!" the detective had little patience as he pounded his fist into the table. "Witnesses saw you knock him out with some sort of nerve agent and take him away in your snow cone mobile."

"Actually, it's an ice-cream truck."

"I don't give a rat's ass what you call the hunk of junk! I want answers!"

"Well I'd like a Charlie Chaplin DVD and some key lime pie, but we all don't get what we want, sport."

"You think this is funny??"

"Well, duh."

"Stop playing games with me and tell me what you did with the bat, you deranged freak!"

"I could, but what fun would that be?" Joker let out one of his usual sinister laughs and was clearly having a ball during this interrogation. Before the cop could respond, there was a knocking sound from behind the glass. "Oh no! Someone's in trouble." Joker let out another burst of laughter.

The cop didn't respond and left the room. Joker was back to where he had begun: the waiting game. Joker didn't feel like sitting around and counting cracks in the ceiling so he decided to attack the people on the other side with an approach that was much more sinister: he started to sing.

"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts... There they are all standing in a row... Big ones, small ones, some the size of your head... Give them a twist a flick of the wrist ...That's what the showman said!"

All of a sudden his singing was interrupted when the door flung open. Joker was expecting to see the same detective or another cop walk in to work him over, but this time he was wrong. Seriously wrong. He looked at the man as he walked in, wearing the blue tights, the red flowing cap and the big S on his chest. The man was massive, toned and looked like he could crush him like an insignificant bug at the drop of a hat. "Well, well, well. Looks like they're bringing in the big guns from Metropolis."

"I'm not in the mood for small talk." Superman said as he remained standing. "I want to know what you did with Batman."

"Or what?" Joker said with a wide grin. "You'll work me over? Forgive me if I don't believe that, boy scout."

"I have my own ways of making people talk, Joker." Superman said, keeping that card close to his chest by not revealing more.

"Ohhhhh... I'm shaking in my boots!"

"You should be."

"Well, sorry to disappoint you boy scout, but you're flunking interrogation 101. Seriously, epic fail."

"I haven't even started yet. Usually my interrogations take place at a different location."

"Really, and where would that be?"

Superman looks up, "Oh, about fifty thousand feet that way."

"Excuse me?" Joker said as he did the math in his head, "Isn't that in outer space?"

"Almost. When you go that high, the oxygen does get a little thin. People begin to suffocate and their lungs start to starve. Pretty soon they feel like they're going to explode."

"Then what do you do?"

"I let them go."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"You don't know me that well, Joker. You'd be surprised how much information I can get out of someone when I take them up that high a half a dozen times in one day."

"You're lying!"

"Am I?" Superman walked over to Joker and grabbed him by the arm, "Let's go for a ride."

"No... no... NO!" The joker tried to fight away from the superhero, but his grip was tight, like a pitbull that refused to let go.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" Superman said as he began to float up into the air. The Joker began to rise with him, as did his chair which he was still handcuffed to.

"No... you can't do this!"

"You know how to stop this, Joker." Superman said as he floated a little higher, "Either tell me where the bat is or take one deep breath before we take off."

"NO!"

"WHERE IS HE???"

"All right!" Joker screamed as he sweating from the thought of going into orbit, "Harley has him at the warehouse on Junction Street, in the industrial part of town. Her and the dogs are watching him!"

Superman floated back down to the floor and let go of Joker. "You better not be selling me a line. If I have to come back here, I won't even ask... we'll go sight seeing. Understood!"

"Yes, that's the place... just leave me alone!"

Superman let go of the Joker and immediately left the room. As he walked into the observation room, Commissioner Gordon had been watching through the glass and he looked back at Superman as he came in. "I've never seen him break that fast before in my life."

"Well I'm off to this warehouse to verify if what he said was true."

Gordon paused for a moment to adjust his glasses, "Do you really do that to get people to talk? Fly them into space I mean..."

"We'll find out after I check the warehouse." Superman said with a grin and then in a flash... he was gone, out the door and on his way to rescue Batman.


End file.
